Woman Suspects Her Boyfriend Might Be a Scammer, Mzansi Reacts to Her Story
- A South African woman shared her doubts about a boyfriend who repeatedly raised emotional and financial crises
- His requests for money and suspicious banking details left her questioning if she was being targeted
- Reddit users advised caution, stressing the need to protect oneself against emotional and financial manipulation
South Africans were captivated by a Reddit story of a woman questioning whether her seemingly vulnerable boyfriend might secretly be scamming her.
Source: Getty Images
A South African woman has shared a tense personal story on Reddit, asking if the man she is dating might be scamming her. Posting under the Classic‑Act‑3020 on Reddit in the r/Scams community, she revealed that she met the 26‑year‑old at her local gym.
Their relationship seemed genuine at first, with frequent chats, weekend dates, and even an introduction to a family acquaintance he was staying with. But subtle warning signs began to appear as money became part of the story.
Woman raises questions about love, trust, and financial red flags
She explained that her boyfriend spoke of financial struggles, including a father in kidney failure and being behind on rent. She initially lent him R800 for groceries, which he repaid immediately, but from an account that wasn’t in his name. Later, she found online posts accusing him of being a scammer. When confronted, he broke down, insisting he was framed by a friend and that he had been trying to rebuild his life while facing financial challenges.
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The situation escalated when he asked for R10,000 to buy a server for his freelance digital marketing and software work. He claimed that without it, he could not earn a living or support his father. The woman declined, but her Reddit post shows she remains torn between empathy and suspicion, unsure if she is helping someone in crisis or being slowly manipulated into financial exploitation.
Mzansi’s response to her story was mixed. Some social media users sympathised with her, warning that love can cloud judgment and that financial red flags should never be ignored. Others were critical, suggesting that she was ignoring obvious warning signs and might be putting herself at risk. A few shared their own experiences with similar scams, turning her post into a cautionary tale about how easily emotional vulnerability can be exploited.
Source: Getty Images
Netizens shared their thoughts
BenwastakenIII said:
"He's gonna try and milk you for as long as you allow him. Think about it, the R800, why would he accept it and then be able to pay you back the very same day? Why did he need it in the first place? It was to gain your trust, you'll think, 'He can't be a scammer, he borrowed money and paid it right back.' Then the parent in the hospital is an old trick; breaking down is emotional manipulation. Now he wants 10k, if you give it to him, he'll essentially stay in your life and ask you for more, but the moment you ask for it back, you'll either get another sob story or you'll get ghosted and never see the money again. Cut your emotional losses and block him everywhere."
PunkLibrarian032120 said:
"Dump this man NOW. If I understand you correctly, the R800 he repaid you was an electronic transfer from an account that supposedly belonged to his ‘friend.’ There is an excellent chance the actual account owner will eventually contact his or her bank about a mysterious R800 withdrawal and declare fraud. The R800 will then be deducted from your account. This man asked for a small amount of money, and ‘repaid’ you to establish a false sense of trust. This told him you could be conned. So next he overplayed his hand and hit you up for R10000. Break it off, block him, and if he knows your bank account number, close the account and open a new one. When someone you have known for a short time tells you complicated sob stories about a series of unfortunate life events, followed by requests for money, those are signs of a scammer. I’m sorry this happened."
Carolineecouture said:
"There are several podcasts about people like this. They all fit the pattern you are describing. Some women have had their emotional and financial lives DESTROYED by men like this. You already know you're not the first woman he's done this to. I bet that he's dealing with other women just like you right now. He probably got the money to pay you back from another woman. Sometimes these end up in physical abuse. RUN."
BrainsAdmirer said:
"The red flags are waving here. There are way too many 'disasters' happening to this one person to be real. Dad is in kidney failure, behind on rent, has fraud on his bank account, identity theft. All this, but he still has time and energy to date? I’ve met and dated this same type of guy…he is a Hobosexual, just waiting for someone to come along that he can sponge off of. He probably would start hinting for him to move in with you. After all, he is staying with a friend, right? That friend probably wants him out. The small amount that he borrowed and paid back the same day is just the hook to make you comfortable giving him money. If you give him the larger amount, he will disappear or never pay it back. This guy is a scammer. The wonderful qualities he is showing right now are part of an act; his true nature will show up the minute you refuse."
EmotionalEntry1560 said:
"I mean, he sounds like a user, whether that's fully considered a subset of scammer or not. It's not a 'romance scam' in the classic sense, where the person doesn't exist, and it's just an industrial scheme out of a call centre, but he's a guy seeking an actual, real-life relationship, to get money out of you. The Tinder Swindler is probably the most famous example of this at a large scale, but there are tons of people like this, whether it's a messy chapter or a long game manipulation; none of this is your problem, and there's no reason for you to be investing R10000 in servers for him. Empathy can be expressed by taking someone out to dinner, giving them a ride, listening to their hard times, unless you're a billionaire who's routinely throwing around money like it's nothing, this just isn't a normal early-relationship type of request nor an expected form of human empathy."
SoupNecessary7439 said:
"Wow, I had to get through so many red flags to get down to the comment section. So much drama, but NONE of it is his fault? Always a friend or someone else using his identity or bank account? Friend, please, just walk away before anything else happens, which it will. And if he is good at what he does, he'll make you feel like it's your fault. Looking at your post history, you seem to have bad luck in this aspect of life. Focus on yourself; you don't need a guy in your life, especially if these are the type of guys you keep meeting. (This is just honest advice, coming from a guy)."
Classic-Act-3020 said:
"Yeah, he tried the emotional manipulation route after I said no, saying that he doesn’t believe he could’ve ever trusted me, etc. I did feel somehow, but I have to move past it. We had dated for over 3 months at this point. Speaking almost every hour of every day."
Intrepid_Bobcat_2931 said:
"There's a possibility that the R800 came from an account he or someone he knows had gained access to illegitimately, and you inadvertently became an accessory to a crime. I suggest you write an email to the police, just setting out very briefly. You met a man who appeared charming, and you covered groceries for him and received money from an account that was not in his name. Later, you have heard that he or someone with a name like his may have been involved in fraud, so you are worried that the transfer might come from someone else's account. Nothing more. Not a report or accusation of crime. You don't want them to take action based on the email (don't write this) because it would cause you time and hassle, and could cause a lot of grief and anger, which would be unwarranted IF nothing is wrong. However, if there turns out to be a police investigation or a fraud investigation at the bank, you can provide a copy of the email as proof of your innocence. So just dance a very fine line between providing just enough details that it would be evidence that you have made an attempt at raising the question, but also being rather clueless and innocent and not making any specific accusation of a crime."
Check out the Reddit post below:
Source: TikTok
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